public private dedic

Dedication to TWO girls I used to have conflicts with, but now have kissed and made up!
I love you girls more~

Izzie (dont ask why I named you that hehe, it sounds good)

words are misleading
so when war of tongues occurs, I guess its better to be the silent 'periuk api'
because when you're burned, she's burned too :) fair and square la kan
scrap it off, be happy now!
jom makan molten choc..


i still cant forgive your "i-forgot-to-put-vanilla-essence-in-your-birthday-muffins" (LOL)
but it went right through the heart
so consider the muffins as your immunity idol :)
oh, i cant forgive your emphasis on the fishes liking my feet more than yours too
but hey, such 10minutes joy, consider that as a small gift from me okay?

one day regret

Within a month, 3 guys that I know have vanished from Malaysia to different countries
When they left, I didnt bother to even bid farewell to them
balai berlepas KLIA and I dont have chemistry

They will return..surely
No need to miss them that bad like their girlfriends or exes
Plus its an annoyance to see each other

And when one dropped by the house the day before he left, he only talked to my cousins while I trapped myself in the
because WHY? the stupid silly me was too lazy to put on a bra to go out and greet him
Its amazing how we can pulled off an 8 year old lesslove-morehate friendship and how he can tolerate my infamous "stfu-i-dont-feel-like-talking" mode for years..and instead I couldnt even wear a bra and wish safe journey to him at that very moment??curse me.

anyway..anyway I just want to confess that I probably miss him a bit....okay more than a bit..

hats off to me

I feel OLD when I realize
  1. Im a has-been
  2. I want a baby
  3. I want a toy-boy
1. No elaboration. It hurts my pride to declare that Im no longer in the hall of fame.

2. Me and my friends have this syndrome called "yes-baby-no-husband". It worries me a lot and now it affects my hormones because
  • We want a fat baby and to get one we need a man
  • We need a man but we dont want him as a whole
  • We need his 'ahem' but we are aware that sperm donation is not allowed in any way (sensitive issue nehh)
Alas, we have no choice but to fix ourselves asap.

3. Older men=yes. Same-age men=No. Younger men=YES. I feel good about it but in our world, you will only end up looking older. In order to escape nasty looks and comments in the future, I need to migrate first.

the 'In' nails

my nails prefer half-nudity

and I just love what proper girls hate

one minute love

yes, actually i like you

minus my blood
minus my pals
minus my school
minus my town

happy we are~

one second whine

Not happy.

take it the way you want it

Have you ever seen a man wearing Levi's unbuttoned?


I've seen one and I plead for it to be once only

An invitation..
It rips your innocence just like that
It is a dangerous s-e-x weapon
You'll die easily for not being able to unbutton it

Im serious, am not horny, am actually scared

emotionally cheating?

for girls out there

my eyes
my ears
my hands

my face
my lips
my heart
my soul remembers you

even when he forms a smile
in my eyes, you are smiling
even when I hold his hand
i feel your hand

my mind erased you though
my heart emptied you out though
you’ve clearly been erased but
even now it’s still no use

though time is erasing your figure now
and my mind that was filled with you is being emptied

Though I empty my heart
My body remembers you
The memory
The more I erase it,
the more vivid it gets
The memory
The more I hate it,
it comes closer..

Is it breathing inside me
In the dark, when will it close its eyes
But even if I walk forward, its you
Even if I turn around, its you
Even when I’m held in his arms
My body, it only feels you

The memory of you,
Even within the presence of someone near me
when they’re just passing by
I’m still crazy for you because
My body remembers you
..I still remember you

one of my favourite songs.

at least i still remain a girl within the realm of hypocrisy

I feel like bitching.


she's not my friend but a friend of a friend,

she's a fellow blogger,

she's famous and has fans too,

I dont want to gain an official hater..

I will not mention her name.

seriously girl,

blogging in Malay language is fine, in fact I adore that because my skill is confined to bahasa rojak(manglish) only which is nothing to be proud of..

but bitching and cursing and trying to sound similar like the blokes' blogs that we both know while you're looking feminine and demure like that..??

please, it makes me sick. what are you, tranny?

p.s : oh ya, kalau memang kau yang terasa, sukahati makbapak aku la kan? kau pun boleh mengutuk jugak kalau nak.


this isnt reminiscing...

precious handbag. status:lost.
precious NYinaball. status:broken.
precious friend. status:missing.

...this is anyeong

my disorder should be infected to all myspace minors




unless its a fun one.

I almost got struck by lightning because I refused to accept mother's "you look good in that top!" and mother couldnt understand why I couldnt fake my response at least. I ignored her and she ignored me until delicious food unites us back. let's not count on how many times me and my family members have a strained relationship because of it.

and I scored the highest mark again, in a test. strange. I even wondered to myself..did I cheat or something? had my blood turns blue or what? I love my friends but when they praise me, I desperately want to hate them. Being a recipient of compliments is scary. I feel nervous for some unknown reasons and I hate my fake smile. hideous! so please, dont fuglize my face anymore.

exception to the general rule:
self-boasting is still essential to boost my life

wallpapered heart

DW: Milk Bath On a Guy
*added to fantasy list*

Girls like me adore Lee for sure
He dares to go beyond modesty the way we wanted
and he's YOUNGER ;p

i have repented

[purely fiction]

"another one Shot In The Dark for me, please.."

that's how I like my drink.
Unfortunately he's not being favoured by others. Unlike Ivy.
Ivy oh Ivy.
I know her. I mean who doesnt? she's part of The Alcohols, you know the very helpful and powerful family in the neighbourhood.
She has quite a few sweet names but I call her Poison Ivy.

Whenever love bids goodbye, people tend to choose her as their bestfriend.
True, she allows you to cry non-stop, you can curse and blame everyone in front of her for the pain and sufferings you have to endure including God..
She even allows you to throw things or beat people..and she will defends you still.
She makes his/her face disappears from your naked eyes
She authorizes you to vomit and collapse without guilt.
She shuts you down from thinking about the jerk.
To simplify, she does what Shot obviously couldnt.
On the surface, she may be a good friend to others..but not to me.

Didnt Poison Ivy tells you that as much as she tells you Sex is the reason why that jerk couldnt stay with you, she's also an ally to Sex..they are known to be sometimes partners, sometimes can never count on both of them. Think about it, when you wakes up to a stranger beside you, isnt it weird how she can never be contacted by anyone the morning after?
Did she also tells you that she can take care of your reality but not your dreams..the moment Dream enters..bringing past love along, what happens to you all alone in the dark? Scary, isnt it. you NOW realize that she didnt care about your fate at all during those times you actually relied upon her for your dear life??

When love bids goodbye to me, I need to stay awake for as long as I can..
I call for Shot.