predicting what is predictable

how do you share your worries with your partner?
even if its related to us, him.. I cant bring myself to talk with him
this has nothing to do with who loves more and who loves less right

I cuma tak biasa committing my heart to just one person

I tak biasa in a relationship and act like a devoted girlfriend

I biasa bercinta tp I tak biasa berdua

but this doesn't mean I don't love him

I used to be this cool girlfriend who allowed the guy to have his own time and expected to be given the same amount of "me" time.. I'm very comfortable with being alone, hanging out with girlfriends and share the joys of the day with my boyfriend..maybe we're not really in love before but the pressure was less, hence more comfortable. For 6 years this is who I was.

Now the pressure is everywhere and the pressure itself is confusing

• Its like I think about my bf often but I rarely show it because does it matter for him to knw? Lack of affections they said..
  
• Ppl seem to think I have no clue that my bf might still keep in touch with the former girl and that he prolly still loves her so I should cage him-- reality is I'm very aware of it and strangely I don't feel jealous about it. I can be mad (of crse) if there's complete secrecy but other than that, I kind of understand.

these 2 can be the downfall of our rship.......would it be my fault by then?