sophisticated retards

forget my innocent and ugly image when you're reading this.
SCRATCH IT OFF, I'm just lazy on most days.
I'm a hot mama.
puke.puke.puke.

I have the tendency to befriend those who think like me and my bestie
THINK LIKE ME?
They indulge in strange fashions and distorted thoughts
They either write mushy, erotic, disturbing, or depressing stories featuring our favorite sexdoll (more abt him later) and they are damn good at it they should have debuted already!

They made me smarter than I was.
They made me happy.
They made me feel normal.

Together we stimulate our fantasies to the maximum even though I don't think there's 'maximum' in that infinite subject..

We're a bunch of sophisticated retards..and we're nice to each other :)

Wow, imagine if we create a secret society for professionals to entertain our insatiable minds.

silence kills the others

last night I went out despite the painful emergence of my wisdom tooth because my girlfriends are experts of undue influence -- the pain ceased thanks to endorphins release

oh last night, too
I fell on the podium while dancing
rose back and some celebrated my comeback wuuhuu
they must thought I was in a drunken state
I was so into myself

now aches all over
my tooth
my knee

i cant even pick up calls from abroad
out of desperation, i'll accept even those artificial narcotics, thank you.

one minute fact

::this is a greasy post::

after sending them to school

i realize


i whine too much about everything


towards my besties


specifically the 3 lousy sesons


they love me too much


so they tolerate my diva-ness in public


but i love them more


because


in return i have to tolerate


one who likes to rebel against me


one who turns blur whenever I expect happy-shouts-hands-in-the-air-jumping-on-bed reaction


one who appears unaffected with our constant tease


still, i find them to be adorably cute :)





confirmed.


i love them more, more.





no offence sesons.muahs.

save me

I did it again and the same feeling resurfaces again.

Im addicted to regrets I think?

Im feeling that time again
The time when I return to my sober state and confirm my loneliness
The time when being horny is meaningless because I am still disturbed
I am afraid to sleep alone lately

And now Im listening to this spooky scary old song by Roy Orbison at 4am.
Great.

AFRAID TO SLEEP

The night is still the wind is chilled
I hear the rain falling on my window pane
Can't close my eyes, afraid to sleep
Cause when I do I would only dream of you

I'm trying to forget that we ever met
But how can i forget and dream of you?

Afraid to sleep because i'd dream of you
Afraid to sleep because i'd wake up feeling blue
If i stay awake forever,we'd never be together
So i'll close my eyes and go ahead and dream

Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams
Sweer dreams....

Beckmans

Stockholm Fashion Week

~This is my dress! ~
Azade Habibnia

~Husband gonna love this~
Erik Annerborn

**********************************

The you-cant-grope-my-breasts-but-you-can-do-so-to-my-vajajay dress
Ilona Rius

pretty PRETTY pretty PRETTY!!

.meet my husband.

.Kwon Jiyong/G-Dragon.
He fits the criteria of my dream husband because

1. He's NOT handsome, just nyum-nyum :)
   

2. He looks like he's a masochist which is a BONUS to me and my sadistic mind :)

3. He loves what I love : strange fashion sense and all the pleasures in life :)

4. His styles are random, OTT and so him :)



5. He's young, workaholic, and successful :)

6. He's the youngest out of the 8 most influential men in Korea in 2008,
a fact which his wife can spazz about for a decade!

7. He's filthy RICH by his own effort :)
a former model/rapper and leader of the ever talented Big Bang/composer/producer of YGent/fashion designer. Any percentage that he gets out of MYR 92, 995, 424.54 (Big Bang's rev in 08) is still a lot of money ~yarh~

8. He gives out the bipolar vibes that I dig :)

9. He can spoils me with a closetful of Fendis and Cavallis and Kokosalakis.
Since we're both sexually disoriented in fashion we can happily share CDG, Bernhard Willhelm, Ann-Sofie Back,Chanel,Y,Bikkermbegs and Viv Westwood..ahhhh happiness! :)

10. He loves older woman :)
*happy*




***extra reasons***

11. He's a music genius after Thom Yorke and Seo Taiji in a whole new dimension :)

Crazy Dog is my personal favourite.
Hot Issue is the best mini album.
The cover of Maroon 5's This Love made me love it more than the original sometimes.
Lies, Last Farewell, Haru Haru, Oh my friend, Heaven, Fool, But I love you girl and Intro (screaming now) are undeniably great songs.

12. Dia poyo tahap dewa yet still lovable :)
What is 'poyo' in english anyway?

your duty to me

Say, one day Im gone..do appoint yourself as the messenger for me (because there's no way I'd tell these men in my life in person or allow them to read my blog)

My brothers

• Along - Im proud to have the smartest, funniest and unique bloodbrother. We dont talk a lot since we're so alike, but I dont mind it at all because its the silent understanding that I cherish the most.
  
• Luqman -This is scarily cheesy, I really dont know how life would be without you. You're my p.a, bodyguard and bestie 24/7. I depend on you most of the time and yes, Im lost without my younger brother :)

Love my bros including little twin bros as well as bros-in-law :D

My dads

• Papa :1: - You created me, papa you're awesome! :p I adopt most of your good qualities and perhaps because we're too similar, unknowingly we're against each other-like magnets with the same poles. I never told you this but I enjoy your sense of humour.
  
• Papa - From my childhood days until today, you remain my #1 Hero. You're a charismatic man that I look up to and always be proud of. Words failed to describe my appreciation and love.
  

Thank you for raising this not-so innocent daughter of yours.

My guys

• Amirul Farez (Bzr) - You're the best guy ever produced by that institution for me :) everytime I think of the time and distance our friendship have to endure for years and how your bongok love had surpassed them, I know I am loved. It helps a lot, so yeah aku syg ko jugak!
  
• Shazu - The best friend who always be there during my hard times and whom I rarely return the favour. I dont express much because my guilt conquers me. If I could have my own miraculous ways, yep all the happiness and joys in the world are yours :) somehow you do know how trapped I am, right?
  
• Wan (Boy) - My estranged husband(lol), my unofficial boyfriend and my longtime friend. Thank you for accepting the sebaik-baik me and also the seburuk-buruk me. I love you too much that I avoid all the possibilities of us..it goes beyond the unguaranteed love you wanted..in case you need a confirmation, you're really important in my life.
  

Im sorry and I love each of you very very much.